I have a teenage daughter and she is awesome. I mean like AWESOME! I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love that kid and watching her grow and develop into who she has become has been one of the great joys of my life.
Anyone who has a teenager (or who remembers being one themselves) will also know that teenagers know everything. I mean like EVERYTHING! And I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love messing with her on this particular point.
A typical conversation may go like this:
Me (at 9:30 pm): Alley, you need to make sure you get a good sleep tonight so you will be on for volleyball tryouts tomorrow.
Alley: I know that mom.
Me (at 11:30 pm): Alley, you need to make sure you get a good sleep tonight so you will be on for volleyball tryouts tomorrow.
Alley: I know!!!
Me: Well if you really knew that you would be doing it.
Alley: I knooooooooow!
When I tell her “if you really knew that you would be doing it”, I’m kind of telling a half-truth. You see, people first have to know about something before they can do it, but one can never truly know something until they do it.
The work of knowing goes something like this:
Knowing → Doing → Embodying
Or written another more inclusive way…
In order to make any kind of change, people must first know about it. My daughter isn’t lying when she says: “she knows”. She really does. Your clients aren’t lying when they tell you they know what they should be eating or that they know what they have to do. The key here is to understand where they sit on the spectrum of knowing and that this is the beginning stage and it’s important. Thankfully they even know!
I often tell my daughter that knowing and doing are two different things. This is the half-truth. Knowing is absolutely crucial to doing. And doing is equally critical to knowing. The cool thing here is that the more we do, the more we know so they are also one in the same. A lot of people get caught up here… they want to do things perfectly. But when we PLAY with doing–we are learning where the boundaries are, what works and what doesn’t and experience trial and error–the whole concept of perfect is eradicated. And this is how we learn to know. People also get lost here, ahem… my teenage daughter, in that they think they already know something and they don’t always follow up their knowing with deeper investigations through doing. This is part of her ongoing development, which is to learn that both knowing and doing are required for deeper knowing which is….
The combination of knowing and doing leads to an embodiment over time. This is where you know things on ever deepening levels, so really it’s just a feedback loop to knowing. When you know and you do, there is an integration that is occurring. When your clients know what to eat AND they take action on that, they are gifted with an experience that deepens their understanding. As simple as this may sound, not every client gets the importance of embodying.
I’ll share this concept with my clients when they tell me that they “know”. I’ll tell them I’m happy they know and that I’d love to progress them to a place of embodiment. They get that, they see it as a new challenge and they love the concept of knowing on a deeper level.
My teenager… not so much just yet, but that’s the process she has to go through right now and I can already see glimpses of her doing to increase the depths of her knowing.